


Shattered

by askmyknife



Series: Broken Souls [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Canon Divergence - Avengers (2012), Canon Divergence - Pre-Thor (2011), Canon Divergence - Thor (2011), Eventual Smut, M/M, Minor Jane Foster/Thor, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2019-03-03 04:38:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13333662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/askmyknife/pseuds/askmyknife
Summary: Loki and Thor have been soulmates since birth without realizing. They were only able to see colors around them while together. With age, they learned this meant they were broken souls, and thus made plans to rule Asgard together. However, when Loki learns of his true parentage, he knows Thor can never know, and knows that Odin will never let him rule Asgard. He thus leaves Asgard after breaking it off with Thor, pretending his colors have been starting to fade.





	Shattered

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to Already Gone.  
> Flashbacks are in italics.

All he could see was black and white.

Through the years, he was growing accustomed to not seeing in colors anymore. But time was not able to heal Thor’s broken heart. The Asgardian indulged in many things to stop thinking about his lost brother Loki; war, women, liquor. Thor became more reckless from one moment to the next. 

He remembered how delighted he had been to learn that Loki was his other half. How everything finally started to fall into place. How drawned he was to Loki. How happy he was around him. Only him. And everytime they touched, everytime they kissed, everytime their bodies melted against one another. Thor was convinced they were meant to be. 

But he was soon faced with deceit. He remembered Loki’s words oh so clearly. 

_"That night, when you said we were meant to be. We are not. If you finish reading, you will see that any two broken souls can see colours together. And if once you find your perfect match, the colours will only become brighter,” he explained, his heart heavy. “But mine has started to fade. We are not meant to be, brother. Never were._

How was it that Loki’s colors began to fade and his own only became so much brighter? Was the world so cruel that Loki was meant for him but he was not meant for Loki?

* * *

If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?  
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

* * *

  _“Loki— I beg of you, please stay. Perhaps I can change— Perhaps—“ he begged, he pleaded, tears welling up in his eyes. How was it that his happiness was so suddenly torn from him? What had he done to deserve this pain? This loss? Would he have to grieve Loki although he would be still alive?_

_Loki cut him off. “There is nothing you can do against it. This is magic beyond what we can control,” Loki explained before he gave him the book. “You may read for yourself as I leave.”_

_Thor threw the book away and gripped Loki’s wrist. Bright blue eyes looked into Loki’s icy hues. “To Hel with the book! To Hel with this magic! I wish to be with you. Only you, Loki,” He gulped, bringing his hand to Loki’s neck, his thumb brushing against his jaw._

_Loki leaned in his touch, closing his eyes. Thor may not be as observant as Loki, but he did notice the pain behind that stoic glance. He did notice the tear that slipped once Loki closed his eyes, and slowly distangled himself from Thor._

* * *

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?  
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?

* * *

 “Where are we to follow you next, our Prince?” Volstagg mused, his breath stenched with liquor and his body was still covered in sweat underneath his armor from the previous battle.

At the very least, the warriors three and Sif never failed to follow him. Hogun, Volstagg and Fandral never questionned him or his motives, but he could see that with every new battle, with every new bottle, Sif’s strong gaze became more and more concerned. When Loki had first left, she had offered her shoulder for Thor to cry on, but the prince had decided otherwise. He had wanted to be left alone, but instead his friends brought on more distractions that he could ever need.

Still, nothing could fill the hole Loki left behind. To the world, he had lost a brother. But in truth, he had lost everything. 

* * *

“Heimdall, is there any sign of Loki?” 

Thor was ashamed. Despite how Loki rejected him, he still always checked to see if Heimdall saw him. Wherever Loki was— he needed to know he was alright. Needed to know if he was with someone. It would break his heart. Destroy it. But if he wasn’t, if Loki was as miserable as he was, he could come to him, tell him he forgave him for how cruel he had been to leave Thor the way he did.

He would tell him to come home.

But Heimdall shook his head. “I’m afraid Loki is still shielding his location from me.I can sense him, but he is very far..”

Thor felt his heart break each time he heard those words. Why was Loki still hiding his location? After all this time? Did he truly hate Thor as he claimed and wished for the future king of asgard to never find him?

* * *

'Cause I miss your body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away,  
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today.

* * *

  _“Do not do this, brother,” Loki warned. “I must take my leave. Do not try to stop me.”_

_“What of this sudden change of heart? We— we had plans— to rule together... Do you suddenly not want that? Loki, talk to me.”_

_Loki let out a dry laughter, echoing in the room and making Thor regret he ever spoke. “Do you truly believe we would rule together? What a fool. All I have ever been is your shadow! All I would become is a marital trophy. I have been in the shadows of your greatness for centuries. What would I now be? Your advisor? You never listen to me! You are nothing but an arrogant, reckless, stubborn man who will send Asgard in ruins! I will not be there to watch you destroy our home on a whim."_  
  
_Thor fell silent. He couldn't pretend those words did not hurt, but they did not, compared to the thought of never seeing Loki again. To Hel with the throne, Thor knew he was a warrior rather than a King, his father said so himself. He knew Loki was more suited than he was, but the choice of who would reign was not up to him._  
  
_"Is this truly what you think of me?"_  
  
_Loki stood still. "It is what everyone thinks of you."_  
  
_Thor's hand curled into a fist. His whole body was shaking, he felt as though the thunder within him would explode. "Is that so?"_  
  
_"It is so."_  
  
_"Then perhaps I should see Father and tell him you should be King instead. If I resign the throne, will you stay?"_  
  
_"No!" Loki shouted, walking forward, as if to stop him from going anywhere. Thor noticed the sheer fear in his eyes. Loki had broke character for a moment there and he noticed, recollecting himself and becoming composed once more, which only clued Thor in that there was something his brother was hiding._

* * *

'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right,  
And though I can't be with you tonight,  
You know my heart is by your side

* * *

 "Thoooooor," Fandral drawled out. "You must stop sulking at once! Loki has been gone for a decade now, has he not? What can we do to help? March into another realm and save all maidens and children? Or shall we try to distract you here?"  
  
"None of that," Thor grumbled. "I wish to be left alone."

It was Sif's turn to speak. "Thor..It is unwise to dwell so much on the past. As a King, you will have to look ahead. You cannot remain in the past forever."

"What is  _unwise_ is to be in my presence at this very moment, Lady Sif," Thor retorted as he glared at them both. "Hogun and Volstagg have at least understood as much."  
  
Fandral squirmed on his seat. "Actually..."  
  
Suddenly, the doors opened wide and the two warrios entered: Hogun, with his eternal scowl, and Volstagg with his hair braided for battle. It was Thor narrow his eyes. 

"Thor, we have news," Volstagg began with a smile.

"About Loki?" Thor replied instantly, with far too much hope in his tone. It saddened the Warriors Three and Sif, who took a moment to exchange a look before Volstagg nervously carried on.   
  
"No...There is word that the Jotuns may have found a passageway between Asgard and Jotunheim. Without the need of the Bifrost."  
  
"Passageway? There is not other passageway," Sif replied with a frown.   
  
Hogun sighed. "Heimdall seems to believe there is. The location has been shielded from him, and whoever has told Jotuns has been shielded from him too, but he had been overhearing Jotuns discussing about the matter and whether or not to trust the traitor in the House of Odin..."  
  
Thor stood up immediately. "We must leave for Jotunheim at once."  
  
"Are you mad?" Fandral replied. "We must alert the Allfather--"  
  
"We will do no such thing! I am to be King! I will take the matter into my own hands, prove to my father that I am capable of handling such responsabilities," he retorted, although the real reason why he was so keen on departing for Jotunheim was Loki.  
  
He remembered how Heimdall mentionned Loki was capable of shielding his location from him, better than anyone ever could. What if this was his doing? Thor could not exactly comprehend why Loki would do such a thing, however-- he had to go and see. He had to take that risk, even if there was only a small possibility that it could be his brother.   
  
"We are leaving at once. To the bifrost. For Asgard."

"For Asgard," the four of them said in unison.

 _"For Loki,"_ Thor murmured in his mind.

* * *

I don't know why you're so far away,  
But I know that this much is true,  
We'll make it through

* * *

_"Loki, please tell me what is going on. I can sense your torment. Your conflict. Please stay. I-- I will change. I will listen to you, I will seek your counsel and appreciate your guidance. I am truly sorry for the wrongdoings I may have caused you through my ignorance--"_

_Loki laughed. A dry, soulless laughter that made Thor shudder. "Oh, you're sorry. Centuries and centuries of being overlooked, of being told to know my place, of being nothing but a shadow and you are sorry of the wrongdoings you may have caused? May? You are as ignorant now as you always were, Thor. If we were truly meant to be, you would know my torment before I dare tell you. Have I not always been there for you even when you knew not what you needed? I am sick and tired of being treated as nothing but another of your servant, who have to give you everything while expecting nothing in return!"_  
  
_Loki was crying now, tears streaming down his cheeks and Thor could feel his own tears well up his eyes and threatened to fall. He had never heard such harsh words from Loki and he did not know what to make of it._  
  
_"You claim to love me," Loki spoke between gritted teeth. "But all you love is yourself. Do not try to follow me, for you will not find me."_

* * *

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand,  
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am? 

* * *

Perhaps, Loki had been right. Perhaps all Thor cared about was himself. Perhaps all he was, was an arrogant, selfish, reckless boy that did not deserve the throne. He had gone to Jotunheim not to secure their alliance, or to prevent war or prevent them to get their stolen weapon. No, he had gone for his own selfish interests, for Loki, to get the brother he was lost, to get the soul he missed so dearly. But realizing Loki had nothing to do with any of this, his temper had changed, his heart had ached, and the first insult the Jotun threw at him, Thor had gave in to his darker side, the one that craved battle more than peace.   
  
Fandrel nearly lost his life because of him, and Volstagg had been deeply burned. Had it not been for his father, they would have most likely perished. They were now close to war, and as if that wasn't punishment enough, his father had decided to strip him of his powers, his armour, and cast him off to Midgard.   
  
He had been hit by a ship he had never seen, one that moved on land, and found himself dizzy on the ground. As strangers asked him if he was dead, he wondered if he should be.   
  
"Are you happy now, brother...?"

 


End file.
